8 toxic Ghanaian narratives you should unlearn in 2019

One’s environment has an influence on their mindset. The way we think is directly or indirectly due to where we have lived and what we have been exposed to. Little wonder some narratives we grew up exposed to have eventually become a part of us. Though some of these are toxic, we have never noticed because we have been exposed to such for so long a time that they have become a norm.

2019 years after the death of Christ, we can’t still be accommodating such toxicity in our minds. The world has advanced. 19 years after the second millennium, there are a lot of unhealthy narratives we should be unlearning. It is long overdue!

“If she was raped, it’s her fault. She was in skimpy clothes!”

A rape victim is not the one at fault. It’s the culprit. Babies, just like teens and adults, are raped and it has got nothing to do with their skimpy clothes. The problem is not how skimpy whoever’s clothes are. It’s how uncontrolled the culprit’s libido is.

In 2019, you must unlearn that a rape victim enticed her perpetrators. If you can’t sympathize with them, at least, don’t make their plight worse. There’s ever no excuse for rape!

“Wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event. It’s OK to borrow to make it memorable!”

At every point in life, one must remember to cut their coat according to their size. If we fail to realize this, we go through a lot of avoidable stress. It’s a dangerous move to start life as a couple on loans.

If you are a couple planning to marry, you should know your wedding should be according to the size of your bank account. If you end up wanting to please others despite your little, you’re only preparing your marriage on a bed of loans… and trust me, it’s a terrible experience!

“Until I travel abroad, I can’t be successful!”

Yes, America has opportunities. There are quite a plethora of advantages in UK. However, you should know that there are a number of opportunities here, too. You don’t need to be abroad to have your dreams actualized.

Many have invested their lifetime savings into travelling abroad when they could have prospered with that money here in Ghana if they had channeled it into some business and built it day by day. Travelling abroad only changes your location, not your destiny. Stay here and build. You can succeed in your homeland!

When I hear such messages from the pulpit, I burst into laughter. If marriage was what made anyone complete, neither Paul nor Christ was complete then. And even talking about “completion”, who defines what makes another complete after all?

It’s 2019. Know that marriage is great but just like bearing children, it is not for everyone. Some people will never marry nor have children of their own due to so many circumstances. It may be by choice or by some other factors. Those who are married or are parents are not any more complete than those who are not.

“Your wife should give you a son. If she’s giving birth to only daughters, she’s infertile!”

I have been confronted with many toxic comments but one I find very appalling is when a man blames his wife for giving birth to a particular gender of children. It’s 2019 and you should know the sex of a baby is determined genetically and not by a woman!

“Ewes have juju. Northerners barely understand anything easily. Don’t marry them!”

It is interesting how we allow ethnicity to put a wedge between us yet turn around to complain about racism. It’s utter hypocrisy if you see nothing wrong with looking down on another man/woman because of their ethnic belonging yet feel aggrieved when a Caucasian discriminates against you.

Many marriages never saw the light of day because of some hasty generalization about some ethnic group. Some people have been falsely accused just because they had some tribal marks that presupposed they came from a particular place.

In 2019, if there’s anything you’d have to repent from, it should be your bigotry. If there’s anything you ought to unlearn, it should be the stereotype you have put on others just because of their ethnic group. If someone with a particular ethnic background did you some wrong, it’s unfair to assume every man from that ethnic group is same.

“If my friend is an entrepreneur, I should get all their products/services for free!”

Entrepreneurship is a tough road to travel on. There’s nothing as unfortunate as having friends who are not ready to support you, especially when you make little or close to nothing from your startup. It’s toxic for one to think their friends owe them free products.

If you have friends who have started a business, patronize their products/services. Help them promote it. Witchcraft is not only flying at night. It’s also taking advantage of a small business just because the brain behind it is your friend. Our friends’ businesses can only expand if we give them the needed support.

“As a young Ghanaian woman, the greatest thing to happen to you is to have a man from abroad come marry you!”

Neocolonialism is fuelled in many ways in modern African society and one of such is the mindset that the greatest blessing is to go abroad or have a man from there come marry you. By so doing, we find many of our young men putting their lives on the line just to have a taste of this paradise while our young women wait for their angels to come from there to take them out of their generational poverty.

It’s quite unfortunate such toxicity is even perpetuated on the pulpit without most of us even knowing. Blessings are never mentioned without abroad being on the bucket list.

Listen, young woman. The greatest thing is not to be married to a man from abroad. It is to be married to a man who helps you become a better you each day. Happy New Year!

Author: Kobina Ansah

Publish on Apt

Do you have any Social, informational, educational or entertaining stuff that should be featured on www.aptnewsghana.com?

Please submit your stories, pictures, and videos to us via WhatsApp: +233548388489 or click on the icon on your screen. Alternatively, email us: aptnewsghana@gmail.com

RSS APO Group – Africa-Newsroom: latest news releases related to Africa

  • New social compact, transformative leadership will quicken Central Africa's economic diversification December 8, 2021
    Download logoA new social compact characterised by permanent dialogue between political and economic leaders and ‘beneficiaries’, would catalyse economic diversification in Central Africa, said some of the continent’s leaders from various fields, Monday. “We need to think big and small at the same time by shifting from our obsession for foreign direct investment to creating […]
  • MINUSMA condemns the attack which killed 7 peacekeepers in the Central region of Mali December 8, 2021
    Download logoThis morning, a MINUSMA logistics convoy hit an Improvised Explosive Device between Douentza and Sévaré on the Nationale Road 16, in Bandiagara region. Seven peacekeepers were killed, and three others seriously injured. The Special Representative of the UN Secretary General and Head of MINUSMA, Mr. El-Ghassim WANE, strongly condemned this cowardly attack and stresses […]
  • U.S. CDC Celebrates 20 years of Saving Lives in Nigeria December 8, 2021
    Download logoThe U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) celebrates the 20th anniversary of its establishment in Nigeria. The Nigeria country office was established in November 2001 to support the government of Nigeria to improve disease surveillance systems, build institutional competencies, and expand human resources for health capacities. At the 20th anniversary event, U.S. Embassy […]
  • U.S. Consulate, Partners Train 100 Police, Civil Defense Officers on Countering Gender Based Violence December 8, 2021
    Download logoOn Wednesday, the U.S. Consulate General concluded a three-day capacity building program for 100 police officers and civil defense operatives as part of efforts to counter gender-based violence in Nigeria. Supported by the U.S. Consulate General, the workshop was organized in partnership with the U.S.-based International Association of Chiefs of Police (IACP) and the […]
  • Coronavirus- Botswana: The U.S. Government Donates P2.9 million in COVID Isolation Facilities in Bobonong December 8, 2021
    Download logoThe U.S. government, through its Department of Defense (DoD), donated two isolation facilities worth over P2.9 million to the Botswana government in a handover ceremony in Bobonong.  The two facilities, constructed through the U.S. military Africa Command’s (USAFRICOM) Overseas Humanitarian, Disaster, and Civic Aid program, will support critical pandemic mitigation efforts in the region. […]
  • ECOWAS volunteers programme concludes 8th regional coordination council meeting December 8, 2021
    The ECOWAS Commission through the Department of Social Affairs and Gender has organized the eighth meeting of the ECOWAS Volunteers Programme Regional Coordination Council (EVP-RCC). The EVP was established in 2004 with the support of African Development Bank and the United Nations Volunteer Programme to build a pool of young men and women from the […]
  • WHO South Sudan conducts a consultation meeting with the Ministry of Health to review the draft 2022-2023 biennium plan December 8, 2021
    Download logoThe World Health Organization (WHO) South Sudan Country Office held a consultative meeting with the senior management of the Ministry of Health on 6 November 2021. The aim of the meeting was to align WHO workplans for 2022-2023 biennium with country priorities.  WHO plans in two-year cycles (biennium) with the current biennial plan 2020-2021 […]
  • Leadership nuggets to drive the implementation of industrial and economic diversification strategies in Central Africa December 8, 2021
    Download logoA high-level debate on the role of transformative leadership in implementing industrialisation and economic diversification strategies in Central Africa ended at the Kintele International Conference Centre near the Congolese capital, Brazzaville, Monday, with appeals for political predictability, adequate infrastructure, especially in energy provision, and a better segmented private sector. High-level speakers also laid emphasis […]
  • UN's top Envoy in South Sudan urges parties to make a fresh push for peace December 8, 2021
    Ahead of his briefing to the United Nations Security Council next week, the Special Representative of the Secretary-General in South Sudan, Nicholas Haysom, is urging political leaders to make a fresh push to fully implement the peace agreement so that free, fair, and peaceful elections can be held. Speaking at a press conference in the […]
  • Parliament acts against sexual abuse of young athletes December 8, 2021
    Download logoThe Portfolio Committee on Sports, Arts and Culture will no longer ignore the abuse and inappropriate violation of young athletes in South Africa. As a result, the committee has resolved to host a workshop on abuse, especially sexual abuse, against athletes. The Committee also called on sport federations to revisit their policies on sexual […]
About Editor 625 Articles
Joe Bright Nyarko Journalist/Communication Researcher. Environment & Sustainability Advocate. Managing Editor of aptnewsghana.com, a non-profit news portal with bias towards environment and sustainability issues, rural development policies and gender & inequality.