The powerful differences between romance, desire, lust, passion, intimacy and love

Love is easily one of the most complicated human experiences. It fully occupies our emotions, bodies, and minds, and has many different incarnations.

It can be confusing to navigate the world of human desire — from one-night-stands to committed relationships, nervous flirting to ‘comfort zone’ intimacy — and then there’s always the question of whether our partners feel the same way.

To alleviate some of the confusion, I’ve outlined emotional and physical cues that help you determine which stage your own relationship is in now.

It’s related to my F.A.C.E.S. stages of relationships, which I explain in-depth in my book Neuroloveology: The Power to Mindful Love & Sex.

Fascination, adventure, comfort, energy and success each come with their own unique cocktail of brain chemicals that give you a heady rush or a sense of deep bonding, depending on the stage.

Like Robert Sternberg’s “triangular theory of love” — which identifies intimacy, passion and commitment as the three main components of love — it’s this interweaving of sexuality, emotional bonding and long-term attachment that make up a fully successful romantic relationship.

However you label them, the main ingredients remain the same, and they govern our love lives.

Read on to find out what’s happening to your emotions and your brain chemicals at each of the six phases of love.

1. Romance is when:

  • You feel butterflies when you talk or see each other.
  • You want to do things to make each other happy.
  • You want to understand his or her mind and what makes it tick.
  • You want to spend as much time together as possible.
  • Your brain is reacting to pheromones, triggering attraction.

2. Desire is when:

  • You having a longing for another.
  • You want to experience a romantic and sexual journey together.
  • Your curiosity and erotic imagination for each other is fertile.
  • You can experience erotic connection together and separately.
  • Your body releases androgens (like testosterone) and/or estrogens, causing arousal to blossom.

 

3. Lust is when:

  • You have a longing for sex to fulfill your emotions.
  • You feel so horny you just want to get laid by someone.
  • You experience intense erotic fantasies with another.
  • Your ultimate goal is sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.
  • Your Desire ‘cocktail’ continues to arouse, adding in Nitric Oxide, which increases blood flow to the genitals.

4. Passion is when:

  • You intensely want someone physically and emotionally.
  • You create mystery and have confidence individually and together.
  • You have fun, laugh, and create surprises, novelty and playfulness.
  • You make love creatively and focus on each other’s pleasure.
  • Adrenaline is making you feel “madly in love.”

 

5. Intimacy is when:

  • You are comfortable sharing everything without any fear.
  • You show each other appreciation through words and actions.
  • You make a commitment to each other.
  • When your two hearts feel like one!
  • Your brain releases oxytocin, the bonding chemical.

6. Love is when:

  • You have a strong feeling of affection for another.
  • You want your beloved to express their love with words and actions.
  • Your partner brings out intimate communication, touching, kissing and spiritual connection within you.
  • You have the five ingredients of friendship, respect, trust, communication and passion for your love to last.
  • Your brain releases oxytocin (the bonding chemical) and vasopressin, the long-term commitment hormone.

It’s not rocket science, but it is scientific.

Each stage of love delivers new sensations and experiences, and each one sparks a unique set of reactions in you and your partner. It’s all there for you to enjoy to the fullest.

I’m often asked specifically about desire in regard to the role it plays in relationships, as well as how to know what is and is not healthy along the spectrum of love, lust, and intimacy.

Below is a quick exercise I give people in order to figure out the answers to these questions for themselves.

Finish the sentences below and then see for yourself if that fits with your ideas about emotional and mental well-being. As you do, be sure to remember that there are no right or wrong answers.

credit: myjoyonline

Publish on Apt

Do you have any Social, informational, educational or entertaining stuff that should be featured on www.aptnewsghana.com?

Please submit your stories, pictures, and videos to us via WhatsApp: +233548388489 or click on the icon on your screen. Alternatively, email us: aptnewsghana@gmail.com

RSS APO Group – Africa-Newsroom: latest news releases related to Africa

  • BGI Releases 1st Panoramic Atlases of Life May 26, 2022
    International scientists led by China’s BGI•Research (https://en.Genomics.cn/) released the world’s first panoramic spatial atlases of life on May 4, examining the cellular dynamics of organisms at different developmental stages and providing potentially significant new information for disease treatment, development and aging, and an improved understanding of biological evolution. In a series of studies published in […]
  • Paul Eardley-Taylor to Drive Investment Narrative at MSGBC Oil, Gas & Power 2022 May 26, 2022
    Download logoEnergy Capital & Power (ECP) (www.EnergyCapitalPower.com) is proud to announce that Paul Eardley-Taylor, Head of Oil and Gas, Standard Bank, will be speaking at West Africa’s official energy event, MSGBC Oil, Gas & Power 2022. Taking place from September 1-2 in Dakar, Senegal, the conference represents the official meeting place for the MSGBC region’s […]
  • Fintech Startup Grey Partners with Payments Company Cellulant for East Africa Expansion May 26, 2022
    Grey (https://bit.ly/grey-reg-pc) has announced the launch of its service to East Africa starting with Kenya in partnership with Cellulant (www.Cellulant.io). Its products, including foreign bank accounts, instant currency exchange, and international money transfers, are now available to Kenyan residents who sign up on Grey. In partnership with Cellulant, Grey (https://bit.ly/grey-reg-pc) has expanded its services into […]
  • Radio News Release (Soundbite): APO Group partners with the Catholic Church in Africa to provide comprehensive Public Relations support towards greater pastoral effectiveness May 26, 2022
    Listen to the soundbiteDownload the soundbiteAPO Group (www.APO-opa.com), the leading Pan-African communications consultancy and press release distribution service, and the Symposium of Episcopal Conferences of Africa and Madagascar (SECAM) (www.SECAM.org), today announced a working partnership aimed at providing extensive Media and Public Relations support to the Catholic Church in Africa (Holy See) (www.Vatican.va). By working […]
  • Trina Solar Wins its Eighth Consecutive “Top Performer” May 26, 2022
    Trina Solar (www.TrinaSolar.com) has once again been placed as a “Top Performer” 2022 among global PV module manufacturers by PV Evolution Labs (PVEL), a world-renowned third-party reliability testing laboratory, after months of rigorous testing. This is the eighth recognition in a row, making Trina Solar the solar company with the most wins. It highlights Trina Solar’s […]
  • Photo News Release: APO Group partners with the Catholic Church in Africa to provide comprehensive Public Relations support towards greater pastoral effectiveness May 26, 2022
    The picture below is copyright free and can be used at will, without asking for authorizationDownload the photo in High Definition: https://www.africa-newsroom.com/files/download/deda1795fe4b3eaAPO Group (www.APO-opa.com), the leading Pan-African communications consultancy and press release distribution service, and the Symposium of Episcopal Conferences of Africa and Madagascar (SECAM) (www.SECAM.org), today announced a working partnership aimed at providing extensive […]
  • APO Group partners with the Catholic Church in Africa to provide comprehensive Public Relations support towards greater pastoral effectiveness May 26, 2022
    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXEMjfQy8Fw&w=854&h=480]APO Group (www.APO-opa.com), the leading Pan-African communications consultancy and press release distribution service, and the Symposium of Episcopal Conferences of Africa and Madagascar (SECAM) (www.SECAM.org), today announced a working partnership aimed at providing extensive Media and Public Relations support to the Catholic Church in Africa (Holy See) (www.Vatican.va). By working with the SECAM, the […]
  • Six Liquefied Natural Gas (LNG) Developments to Watch in West Africa May 26, 2022
    The theme for this year’s MSGBC Oil, Gas & Power Conference & Exhibition is, ‘The Future of Natural Gas: Growth Using Strategic Investment and Policymaking,’ in response to booming investor interest in recently discovered regional gas mega-reserves. With the energy transition a hot topic off the back of COP 26 and in the lead-up to […]
  • DLA Piper secures victory for the Republic of Guinea in multi-billion euro dispute with BSGR May 26, 2022
    Download logoDLA Piper (www.DLAPiper.com) has obtained a significant win for the Republic of Guinea in its multi-billion euro investment arbitration against BSGR. The arbitration concerned development rights over the world’s largest iron deposit, Simandou. In a landmark award issued on 18 May 2022, the ICSID tribunal rejected BSGR's claims in their entirety. BSGR, whose ultimate […]
  • Ecobank Transnational Incorporated holds its 34th AGM and Shareholders approve resolutions May 26, 2022
    Download logoEcobank Transnational Incorporated (“ETI”), the parent company of the Ecobank Group (www.Ecobank.com), the leading pan-African bank with operations across 33 African countries, today held its 34th Annual General Meeting (AGM) in Abidjan, Côte d’ Ivoire. Alain Nkontchou, Chairman Ecobank Group said: “2021 was a transformational year for the Group and the Board is pleased […]